Gushing

Sometimes, I take a step back and try to view our relationship from an outsider's point of view. When I do this, I become in awe of Ruy. I know this might sound like I'm patting my own back, but sometimes I'm amazed at how much this guy really loves me. Sometimes I ask "Why the hell is this guy so into me?"....I don't get it. I'm the biggest bitch in the world...earlier Mike and Aaron just referred to me as "evil" yet somehow Ruy still loves me. WHY? What's wrong with him?

I asked Patric Porto before if he felt the same way (as he is also with someone who's so into him) and he says NOPE. He says that he feels he deserves to be loved that much and it's not really surprising for him. I wish I could have his confidence...

I'm not going into self pity or anything I'm just being objective. I'm complicated, I'm not very nice, and sometimes I think I'm more trouble than I'm worth. Yet Ruy doesn't seem to think so.

Concrete example. Last week I was down with the flu...Ruy and I were supposed to go out but he said it's better for me to rest instead. Ofcourse I threw a tantrum "You just don't want to be with me..." and all that crap. I then left and went to the grocery...of course not following Ruy's request that I stay home and rest. I then went home to find a bouquet of yellow roses (my favorite) in the house...

The next day I threw a tantrum because of apple pie...don't ask it's too petty to write here.

The day after, I bitched about having to do a task that Ruy forgot.

After all of this, I received this text from Ruy...

"Olivia, I can't wait to your husband...Kanina I can't help imagining you walking down the aisle into my arms...sarap!"

Damn...I must have done something right in my pastlife! (I better be careful with my behaviour now though, I have a feeling I'll be a dung beetle in my next life)