Nuffnang

7/22/2007

Masters

I think it was someone from the bible who said no man can serve two masters. Well try serving 5!!

I’ve recently been seriously messing up my married life by doing stupid and completely avoidable mistakes. It seems that the more I try not to mess up the more I do. I’m a bit discouraged at how difficult it is to be a good “everything”…right now I’m just a passable “something”…

Confusing? Yeah, I’m sure it is. Let me try to explain by first introducing my 5 masters.

Work
Family
Andrea
Ruy
Myself
That list of course was written randomly, however isn’t it funny that work is up there without my thinking about it? Somehow it seems that work is the only thing I’ve managed to still do well (although still not as well as I want to do it) . It’s so hard because every single minute I stay longer at work is another minute away from Andrea. And another minute spent on Andrea is one away from Ruy. Another minute spent with Ruy is one away from my family (family here refers to my lola, mom, sister, aunt, nephews, etc.)

– o –

I’m wondering if I have what it takes to be a good wife…

I’ve been thinking about this for weeks and my mind can’t come up with a reason for me to say that I’m a good wife. I know how I’m a wonderful grand daughter, a great employee, a fun boss, a great sister, an ok daughter…I also know that if I had more time and a bit more practice I’d be an excellent mom…but I don’t know about being a wife. As I’ve mentioned earlier…no reason comes to mind.

– o –

I miss my family and most specially my sister. I see my grandmother almost every day but I almost only literally SEE her. I barely get to spend any time with her cause I have to hurry to work.

I see my sister once a week and yet again it’s really literally just seeing her.

– o –

You know my 5th master? Myself…I haven’t been able to do anything for her lately as well.

– o –

God please give me 30 hours in a day so that I may serve all my masters.

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