I got everything I wished for, but I've been wishing for the wrong things

As a child I was a voracious reader and a sitcom fanatic. Don't ask me about the names of the characters from the books and tv shows, I probably won't remember any. What I remember vividly are the scenarios. How they fell in love, how conflicts are resolved, how a man proposes, the happily ever after. All of these are still clear in my head.

I alway imagined my life to be like those in these books. My exes have apparently read the same book, we did everything as they were expected to be - as they were "SUPPOSED" to be.

Initially Ruy and I were not on the same page - hell it wasn't even the same book, it was an entirely different library all together. It was so difficult, I couldn't understand why Ruy didn't know the things I knew. These things came so naturally to the characters in the books right?

Ruy you're supposed to call me at exactly 12mn during New Year or Christmas Eve. What? You have to have dinner with your family? So what? I don't care! That's what people in the tv shows do.

Ruy when I walk out, you're supposed to come running after me and then we kiss under the rain okay? Hmmm, wait a minute I can't walk out cause my school things are in the back seat and they're too heavy for me to carry around. Damn it, I can't walk out when you're driving!

Ruy you're supposed to surprise me with sorry gifts when we fight. When I open my car you've left something inside, or you're there standing outside my office after an argument, or maybe your car would be waiting outside mine? What? You can't do that because you'll coming all the way from Marikina and you need to be in the office at 7 am tomorrow? So what? I don't care if I sometimes leave the office at 12, the men in the movies don't sleep!

I think you get my point. I had a highly romanticized version of what relationships are supposed to be. I seriously imagined life was supposed to be like that, thus the tantrum about the fact that Ruy (initially) didn't give me an engagement ring. However things practically never turned out the way I expected them to.

Life snuck up on me and stomped on my fairy tale. Nothing about my relationship with Ruy was like what I imagined it to be. Not the way we met, not the way we do things, not the way we "date" or don't date, not even the way he proposed. Nothing.

It's better that way, it's surprising and fresh and dynamic and alive. Oh and absolutely IMPERFECT.

p.s.
The picture was a free prenup which Ruy and I won through Traders Hotel. My friends call it the "Telenovela Picture". They tell me I look like the evil haciendera (the contrabida) who is trying to seduce the nice man...I love my friends! Speaking of which hello to my friends who read my blog. PATRIC PORTO, PT, LOI LIM, LOU ANNE DELOS REYES....and others. Miss you guys soooo much

We've got Something in Common...YEHEY!

Anyone who knows both Ruy and myself would know that we are 2 very different people. Sometimes I look at us and say "How the hell did we end up together?". To enumerate all our differences would be tiresome for me and probably boring for you so I would instead talk about some fo the things we have in common. TV SHOWS....we don't watch the same things but there a few shows we do watch and enjoy taling about. These are American Idol, the Law Firm and the shows in Crime and Suspense Channel. It's so much fun actually having something to discuss and debate about.

I'll leave you with this while I rack my brain for other thing we both like.

What goes around...take turns?

In our relationship we have taken on several roles that we just automatically expect the other person to do. Being the person with a compulsion for lists and schedules I was of course in charge of taking care of all the details of our wedding preps. Having done this for the past couple of months has left me quite exhausted.

Last night I told Ruy "Tinatamad na ako"; after some panic on Ruy's part he later realized that it's not that I don't want to get married, I'm just tired of the preparations. He said, okay let's take turns, send me everything you've done with the papers and I'll take care of everything. YAY!

I'm not sure if I can let go completely but I would really really appreciate the help.

Ruy-filled Weekend - Sunday Edition

It's Sunday, I've already been on a Ruy overload, imagine being with him for more than 8 hours 2 days in a row. It's unheard of...I'm exaggerating of course. We've actually spent days and days together during our vacations but now that we're both busy with work it's become almost impossible to do that.

So it's Sunday, and unbeknownst to my grandmother we are throwing a surprise celebration for her. I don't know how I pulled it off under my grandmother's nose but it happened. My grandmother had no idea until she saw the cake, and even then she didn't know how elaborate the scheme was. All the grandchildren (okay not all, just most) brought food and so we had a small feast there at home. Mary (my lola's alalay) was even able to cook rice using the rice cooker without my lola knowing about it (she cooked the rice inside her room). Ruy brought over balloons for my lola. We feasted on: roast beef, cordon bleu, elar's lechon, barbecue, spaghetti bolognese, cake and of course the ever present pineapple juice.

Ruy was there of course, she knows how special my lola is to me and so he made sure he'd be there.

Ruy-filled Weekend - Saturday Edition

Saturday began with me wakin gup really sick. I could barely speak and throat was hurting like hell. I knew I was going down with the flu the moment I opened my eyes. Nevertheless, flu or no flu I still needed to do some errands for my grandmother, so it's off to here and there doing this and that. After that I proceeded to the parlor for waxing, blowdry, manicure, pedicure and eyebrow shaping. It has been a loooong time since I last went to this parlor and they were surprised at two things: 1. I lost weight...YEHEY! and 2. My hair is now extremely long, yup it now reaches down the curve of my back when straightened. I would have to admit though that I hate hate hate having hair that long, it's just crazy, can you imagine how much hot oil, and hair color costs now? I need to keep it long however for my wedding. *sigh*

Parlor-home-Ruy's car. So from the parlor, I went back home, took a bath, put on my party clothes, rode Ruy's car and drove with him all the way to Laguna for Angie's wedding. I must say it was an EXTREMELY ORGANIZED wedding. I think the pictures Angie posted say it all. Ruy was quite impressed with the attention to detail Angie has shown. Congratulations girl!

We went on our way back to Manila at 8:30 to be in time for Zsa Zsa'a birthday get together. Ruy and I were amazed at how we can never seem to be late for anything. We were early for Angie's wedding as well as for Zsazsa's party. Damn.

12:00 found Lolo Ruy sleepy so we headed home.

Ruy-filled Weekend - Friday Edition

I used to be resentful of the fact that Ruy and I only get to spend one day a week together. Patric used to tease me that I'm like one of those martyr seaman's wife waiting for her man to come home. I have repeatedly said that seeing Ruy more than once a week is a bonus in itself, IF that is so then this weekend was the jackpot prize.

Friday started quite late for me. Ruy and I were both on leave as we chose to spend this day dealing with some wedding suppliers. Ironically though we ended up accomplishing only two things for the wedding. We started with a meeting with Loi. (Loi I don't know if you are reading this but we thank you soooooooooo much. It was so much fun. Ruy was so happy.) Loi is my friend who is doing something special for our wedding. I'm sooooo excited to see the result Loi. Thanks for sparing 2 hours of your time with us.

We then drove all the way to Veluz place where we finally paid the d.p. for my gown. Ruy loves Veluz. It's quite funny. He likes the fact that Veluz sided with him on some issues, he's also happy that Veluz said moving our wedding date from December to February was an excellent idea. Finally, he said that talking to veluz made him feel excited about the wedding again.

A trip to gateway mall then followed. Ruy and I spent 2 hours trying to choose a gift for Angie. We never knew it could be that difficult, I'm dreading the day we have to make a list for our own bridal registry...gosh that would be painful. While in gateway Ruy bought me champagne truffles...my favorite! Yehey. =) I think he was a bit surprised that each small round chocolate costs around 110 each. hehehe

Finally the day ended with us driving to eastwood for me to buy a shawl for Saturday....

MOVIE DATE

I don't really like watching movies. In fact it was only Ruy who started pushing me to watch more movies. I saw this list of Valentine flicks and I thought of making a tradition out of it. So from now on we will watch one movie from this list every valentine's day.... hahaha POOR RUY!


Funny

AmelieA pixie-like Parisian puts the sparkle in the City of Lights.
Annie HallWoody Allen shows that even hopeless neurotics can find true love.
It Happened One NightThe "Walls of Jericho" are certainly coming down.
MoonstruckWhen the moon hits Cher's eye like a big pizza pie: that's amore.
RoxanneThe race to win this beauty's heart will be won by a nose.
Say AnythingFor anyone looking for a 'dare to be great' situation.
The Princess BrideA romantic, funny, exciting fairy tale? Inconceivable!
When Harry Met Sally...Making millions of friends want to have what she's having.

Weepy

An Affair to RememberMeet you at the top of the Empire State Building.
CasablancaYou must remember this: the most quotable movie of all time.
Love StoryWhat can you say about a 34 year-old movie that's sad?
MoulinRougeThe singing!The dancing!The tuberculosis!
The End of the AffairWith that title, you know it won't be happily ever after.
The Remains of the DayA butler is torn between love and his duty to stand still.
The Way We WereBabs and Bob team up for a story of opposites attracting.
TitanicNear, far, wherever you are, it's the classic modern tear-jerker.

Steamy

9 1/2 WeeksStarring Kim Basinger, Mickey Rourke, and a very lucky ice cube.
Basic InstinctSo hot the movie might get charged with smoking.
Body HeatForget green-house gases. This is the cause of global warming.
Dangerous LiaisonsIn games of the heart, there's one principle: win or die.
Like Water for ChocolateA forbidden yet flavorful affair.
Risky BusinessSometimes you gotta say...well, you know.
The Big EasyWhich is spicier in New Orleans: the food, the jazz or the lovin'?
The Unbearable Lightness of BeingCzech mating.

Cheesy
Dirty DancingThey all call her Baby, but to him she's like the wind.
FootlooseA town bans all music. After you hear Kenny Loggins, you'll know why.
GhostSam is a spirit trying to protect his love. Like Casper with feathered hair.
GreaseYou know it's the one that you want. Ooh, ooh, ooh, honey.
Pretty in PinkHer choices are guys named Blane and Duckie?
Pretty WomanYou can't buy love, but $3000 is a good down-payment.
Sleepless in SeattleCan you find your soul mate on talk radio?
The BodyguardWith a song that's stuck in your head for twelve years.

Welcome to the Family

Last Saturday my sister celebrated her 7th Birthday and of course Ruy was present. He really had no choice but to be there. My family is chockful of social obligations that you just HAVE to do. As my fiance, being present in my only sister's party was of course a must.

When my relatives started arriving my mom introduced Ruy as her "manugang". I was stunned, wow! I personally hate the sound of the word manugang, I don't know why but it sounds so old to me, I can't believe my mom (who looked stunning during the party by the way) has a manugang....wow. However, I cannot help but be touched by the thought of my mom really considering Ruy as an inlaw.

My mom actually bugged Ruy about our wedding date. She said "Nakakainis naman kayo bakit minove nyo pa!". Is this normal? Seems like my mom's really itching to have me married off. When she found out that we MIGHT get married civilly first she was extremely pleased...too pleased. Odd isn't it? I later found out through her that she's afraid I might break up with Ruy and end up with a bad person. Sheeesh

Thinking out Loud

I need to have a quick rundown of things still lacking in my wedding preps. I know I still have over a year to prepare but I don't want to cram. And anyone who knows me from college would know that I am the queen of cramming. So here is a list of everything we're missing

• Bridal Car = I refuse to take the honda from the package of Juan Carlo so I'll probably be using Papa's silver mercedes or white pajero, depends on what we want.
• Flowers = we're currently looking for suppliers. My fallback would be Steve Dorotan and Flowers of May. Kleyr from Red Orange Weddings told me that she would email her list of suppliers to me before the week ends. Hopefully we'll find one from her list.
• Accomodations = Ruy will be staying in their family's house in Tagaytay. I don't know where I would be staying. Any old place would do, I really don't care.
• Cake? = I'm not sure if we're getting the one in the package, sticking with Alex Franco or getting another one...need to talk about this A.S.A.P.
• Souvenir = we already have an idea but it hasn't been bought, my aunt is offering to buy if for me so she could bring it home from the US in June. We also have several other options available.
• Invites, Misalettes, Programme, Etc. = I'm doing everything with the help of my friends, I've already finished the misalette but we're finding for a very good printer. This will be something which will suck the life out of me. I can just imagine.

That's it? Not bad!! I think this is perfectly doable. It's the paying for everything which is difficult. hehehe

PMS... Ruy Style

Every year Ruy throws 2-3 tantrums, that’s a mere 0.5% of the number of tantrums I myself throw. I at least try to move out of his way when he does have these tantrums.

Ruy and I barely fight, we've only shouted at each other maybe once or twice. We do argue a lot although by arguing I mean debating for hours (and when I say hours I mean this literally). I often find myself raising my voice when I get frustrated and Ruy does so when he's surprised. Other than the increase in decibel to show our irritation we don't do anything else. We don't hit, cuss nor whisper any profanities to each other.

The scenario would be:

- Liv and Ruy talks
- Liv gets pissed
- Ruy has no idea Liv's pissed
- Liv gets pissed even more as Ruy doesn't know she's pissed.
- Liv gets quiet
- Ruy gets worried
- Liv remains quiet, the calm before the storm
- Ruy keeps on asking "What's wrong?"
- Liv can't hold it in any longer and lashes out (dramatic I know)
- Ruy's surprised at how a small offense can mean such a big thing
- They argue
- They reconcile.


That is the natural progression of things. We have fallen comfortably into this pattern so much so that when something falls out of place we are both surprised. Yesterday we were both faced with a surprise...Ruy threw a tantrum.

He hasn't thrown a serious tantrum in a long while so I didn't know how to react to this. What's even more surprising was the trigger of the tantrum...a stupid lambing from myself. The progression therefore changed into:

- Liv says something
- Ruy takes offense and lashes out
- Liv is surprised and gets very defensive
- Ruy is pissed at Liv's defensiveness
- Liv is pissed that Ruy's pissed....

You can imagine how frustrating this whole process is for both of us. Everytime we try to forget about it, I say something that gets Ruy started again. How did this end? I sent him a text saying:

"Love you honey...even if you are sooo sungit. Are you pms-ing? =)"

This made him laugh and we finally had a fight-free conversation ...at least for 20 minutes. Whew!

February 17, 2007

It's final, we're getting married on February 17. I love love love this date. I don't know why, I just do. I was just telling our good friend Dorothy that I never felt any affinity to the date December 2 and I'm so excited about the change of date.

You know how I feel now? I feel like I've been given an extra 2 months to prepare for my wedding. It's like a bonus. All my suppliers are more or less final so I'm practically all set.

So I am extremely satisfied with the arrangement, one person who is not as satisfied is my mother. I think she's dying to give me away. More on this later