Nuffnang

2/26/2006

I got everything I wished for, but I've been wishing for the wrong things


As a child I was a voracious reader and a sitcom fanatic. Don't ask me about the names of the characters from the books and tv shows, I probably won't remember any. What I remember vividly are the scenarios. How they fell in love, how conflicts are resolved, how a man proposes, the happily ever after. All of these are still clear in my head.

I alway imagined my life to be like those in these books. My exes have apparently read the same book, we did everything as they were expected to be - as they were "SUPPOSED" to be.

Initially Ruy and I were not on the same page - hell it wasn't even the same book, it was an entirely different library all together. It was so difficult, I couldn't understand why Ruy didn't know the things I knew. These things came so naturally to the characters in the books right?

Ruy you're supposed to call me at exactly 12mn during New Year or Christmas Eve. What? You have to have dinner with your family? So what? I don't care! That's what people in the tv shows do.

Ruy when I walk out, you're supposed to come running after me and then we kiss under the rain okay? Hmmm, wait a minute I can't walk out cause my school things are in the back seat and they're too heavy for me to carry around. Damn it, I can't walk out when you're driving!

Ruy you're supposed to surprise me with sorry gifts when we fight. When I open my car you've left something inside, or you're there standing outside my office after an argument, or maybe your car would be waiting outside mine? What? You can't do that because you'll coming all the way from Marikina and you need to be in the office at 7 am tomorrow? So what? I don't care if I sometimes leave the office at 12, the men in the movies don't sleep!

I think you get my point. I had a highly romanticized version of what relationships are supposed to be. I seriously imagined life was supposed to be like that, thus the tantrum about the fact that Ruy (initially) didn't give me an engagement ring. However things practically never turned out the way I expected them to.

Life snuck up on me and stomped on my fairy tale. Nothing about my relationship with Ruy was like what I imagined it to be. Not the way we met, not the way we do things, not the way we "date" or don't date, not even the way he proposed. Nothing.

It's better that way, it's surprising and fresh and dynamic and alive. Oh and absolutely IMPERFECT.

p.s.
The picture was a free prenup which Ruy and I won through Traders Hotel. My friends call it the "Telenovela Picture". They tell me I look like the evil haciendera (the contrabida) who is trying to seduce the nice man...I love my friends! Speaking of which hello to my friends who read my blog. PATRIC PORTO, PT, LOI LIM, LOU ANNE DELOS REYES....and others. Miss you guys soooo much

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