Nuffnang

6/07/2006

Yesterday I Cried

The past week hasn't been easy in a lot of ways. I'm stressed over the medical tests, I have a lot of work, I had to go on leave to go to Baguio and to be tested, etc. Yesterday was my first day back. I spent Monday night making a list of EVERYTHING I needed to do, it came down to almost 2 pages, and to those of you who have seen my teeny tiny handwriting you would know that 2 pages means a whole LOTTA work.

I left the house to go to work at 7 in the morning. This is quite early as my travel time is usually just 15-20 minutes. I was driving when I noticed something strange about the way I was driving, I tried calling Ruy to ask but he wasn't answering, so I went down to look at my car and saw that my front tire was extremely flat yet again. I wanted to cry (but I didn't)...f*$#@ tires! I changed all four tires less than a month ago, and now it's doing this again! I had no choice but to run the flat tire to the nearest vulcanizing shop. The guy said there's nothing wrong with my tire and just put it back.

I arrived in eastwood at exactly 8. I decided to park outside where there was a flat rate (I knew I was going to stay in my office for a long time, and having to pay an exorbitant parking fee was just like adding salt to the wound). The manong told me I had to pay...damn it I noticed that I had absoloutely no money in my wallet. I told the manong to point me to the nearest ATM...he made me walk all the way to the starbucks complex to withdraw. Beggars can't be choosers so I obliged, when I returned to pay him he said "Ang tagal mo naman, dapat dito ka na lang sa chinabank nagwithdraw". WHAT!!!! I held my breath and tried real hard not to strangle him... he's still alive now.

I went to work and work I did! I was in the office working, not blogging nor chatting, up until 12:00 in the evening. When that was over, I walked to the parking area dead tired, only to find my tire flat yet again.

I tried calling Ruy, no signal. I tried calling my Kuya (cousin), no reply. Eventually I gave up and realized that I had no other choice but to drive to the gasoline station.

Thank goodness for the wonderful manongs over there. I was so greatful for their patience and care. Bait talaga! When they were about finished I was finally able to call Aaron who dropped by to tell me what to do and to tell me not to drive like a maniac. THANKS AARON!!

While driving home I just couldn't help but feel sad. After working like a maniac all day, all I wanted was a warm bath and a soft bed. But instead I was stuck in a gasoline station trying to call for help. I remembered my conversation with Ruy a long time ago, the one he got really upset over. I told him that ultimately I'm the only one reliable enough to take care of myself. I can't expect anyone else to be available for me. That fact still hurts. We all want a prince charming or a fairy god mother to make everything better for us, but ultimately we're the only ones who can do that to ourselves.

That made me cry. I hate being alone. I hate the fact that I was stuck with a flat tire and no one knew. What I hated even more was going home to my grandmother's house at 1:30 in the morning to find her getting mad and saying "Ano ka bang klaseng babae, bakit ka umuuwi nang ganitong oras"

Wow. I didn't even bother explaining what happened. What for?

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