Why I Avoid Getting Excited

When the pamamanhikan was over I have to admit that I went against my nature and actually got excited. Everything was now formal and finalized and things were starting to fall into place.

There were several things that were discussed which made me excited.

- Ruy's family will be staying in their house in Tagaytay.
- My step dad's friend will be lending us 2 houses in the Highlands for my family.
- Those two put together is worth around 30k. That would be 30k worth of savings for us.
- One thing we were worried about was the finish of the house, my step dad told us to just tell him what we'll be needing and he'll get it for us. Wohoo!!! Flat screen TV please? hehehe
- we'll start building the house 2 Saturday's from now, my mom and step dad want to visit the place.

See? These things got me all riled up. I texted Ruy last Saturday something extremely cheesy (you've been forewarned of the cheesiness factor, read at your own risk) "Honey! It feels more real now, we're really getting married. You're going to be my husband =) "

I was in such high spirits that I forgave the fact that Ruy thought our 2pm meeting time was at 3. You see, we were supposed to meet only at 5 as my cousin invited Ruy to his birthday dinner at home. I told Ruy that I wanted to see him before that as we didn't really have time to have an actual conversation during the pamamanhikan. Ruy obliged (yes obliged meaning to obligate, to compel; to do something as a favor,to accommodate) me by agreeing that I go with him while he does an errand. After the errand there was still a lot of time so I asked him to go around a mall with me. We went back to his house were he took a bath and got ready for my cousins party.

My cousin has told Ruy to bring the floorplan of our house so we can decide were to put the aircon outlets, tv outlets and other electrical outlets and switches. So at 8:30, Ruy and I sat down and began discussing which appliances are we going to buy first. This was followed by a discussion on where we'll be positioning our appliances so as to ascertain the location of outlets. While this was going on, Ruy said something sarcastic about how I had grand plans for tonight. Referring to the fact that I had plans of making him stay even longer.

This really drove me insane. I can't believe I had to rationalize the time we spent together. Patric with CK practically everyday, the same is true with Loi, and the same with Dorothy.Ruy is in the province most of the time and in my hopelessly romantic mind I thought that we'd be finding ways to see each other as often as we can during those few times that he's here in Manila. Isn't that what boyfriends do? Another thing that really bothers me when I tell Ruy these things is that he'll start pointing things out to me like "Didn't we see each other a lot last week?" or "Didn't I pick you up last time?" ......I'm whining, I better stop.

My excitement went straight out of the window. That's the problem with me. I completely shut down when things like these happen. So right now I'm back to being indifferent and cold. I'm not so excited about the house, the wedding, nor the weekend. How sad....

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